Pleasant day. The hole in my chest is sated, quiet and peaceful.

Showed off my Starscream today and it was really funny. I was shocked how many g1 fans there are in my class. Re-painted my nails. I am putting off laundry for yet another day.

working on an animation for which i probably will have to draw more than animate. Clawing at myself to finish APOCALYPSE and start drawing.....

♪ // Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

dying... just... straight up...

i feel like there's this pulsing, gaping hole in my chest that never stops growing. It wants something. All the time it yearns pines aches it always wants and wants and wants and i don't know exactly what. Rest? Attention?

perhaps the latter. im so desperate to feel wanted by someone it's actually embarassing. But i can't help myself.

it hurts really bad and i wonder when did i let it come to this. I wish the characters i like were real and could all tell me im doing great and i am so beautiful and brave and going through a lot, and everything is going to be fine. i could really use the reassurance. I could really use to not feel lonely anymore.

In other news, my earbuds are having an eat shit and die moment. My phone has like 10mb internal storage left and therefore having an aneurism everytime i take a photo. My piercing rejected and i took it off. Things are great.

tomorrow morning i have to army crawl to school again, thank fuck it's finally friday.

♪ // man in the box - alice in chains

SOOOOOOO FUCKING AMPED UP GOD HELP ME. i got places to go tomorrow but i want to stay up all night. I didn't do my laundry, i didnt brush my hair, didnt play warframe, do shit i set out to do which pisses me off, but at least i "rested" or whatever.

I'm burning inside out with ideas and plans and hopes and wishes for the future, i cant stop a single thought long enough to even write it down! I'm so nostalgic it's not even funny, it's kinda fucking my mind up, but at least i dont feel sad i guess. GODDDDDDDD i dont want school i want to be polyamorous autistic and stylish out in the street, yeah. i'm so lonely

Tomorrow i got school and i painted my nails today, im gonna do my hair later and hopefully ill have time to get properly dressed in the morning. Nothing changed but i feel that eagerness of the first day of school, even if it also isnt the first day. I'm gonna bring my first volume of Saint Young Men to show off an read in class.

Which by the way, Saint Young Men is amazing and so fucking funny.

♪ // Collapsing New People - Daniel Knutz

Numerous happenings. Tried scrapbooking for the first time. Rearranged my furniture for a fresh start. Looking foward to decorate my room now that i have the space for it, but for now it feels really empty.

In other news: been getting into Gunpla and mechas in general recently. The Secret Level episode for Armored Core reignited an old interest for them. If anyone has any recomendations for games of the like, id love to hear it... im looking for some kind of mech pilot simulator (think Elite Dangerous with war suits instead of starships) and i dont know if such a thing exists. one can dream, i suppose

also im pondering making a page for music updates. does that sound like a good idea? ive been listening to the same four or five Gorillaz songs nonstop and the idea to put them here somehow came to me. still not sure how id go about it tho

bored bored bored bored made a g1 tier list

Kinda bored of the site ngl maybe im just artblocked
Probably gonna take a break from updating for a while
Not that i've been updating very consistently... but an official break will probably be good yes

Moving to "Paradise" was a tragic mistake. People here are... sick. I hear gunshots, screams after dark. Now the phone calls, sayin' i'm being thrown outta this house. My house. Wearing Kevlar vest and carrying a sidearm at all times now.