"Hello, friend! *struggle* Welcome to the sitemap! My name is Artyom but you can call me Tyoma.
Wait... *quiver* Have we met before?! Ah, nevermind...
Here i ha... *restrained pause* Oh, you found my badge? I didn't even realise i lost it again! Hehe. *wobble*

Yeah, here i keep the links to SPUTNIKs pages, all neat and tidy! Uhhmm... yeah that's all, hehe! Feel free to look around. I'll just be here. *struggle* Heh."